Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Victim or Victor, You Choose

Taken from The BGP Gathering Space contributed by Shaunelle Curry

What is the difference between VICTIM and VICTOR?

Over the summer, I began to prepare curriculum for the awesome work of connecting with women in domestic violence shelters. One of the questions I asked myself in this preparation was, “What is the difference between victim and victor?”

I had my own ideas, but I perused Webster as well. It defined a victim as one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions; one that is subjected to oppression, hardship or mistreatment. Victor, however, is someone that defeats an enemy or opponent: winner. Even still, victory is achievement of mastery or success in a struggle or endeavor
against odds or difficulties.

Both victim and victor imply some battle, some struggle that has taken place. But, while a victim’s story ends with the oppression, hardship and the subsequent wounds, the victor continues on toward mastery through overcoming the odds of what would appear to be her reasonable chances of success.

What is the difference between victim and victor? Two letters found at the end of each word. The difference is what happens in the end. Everything leading up to the ‘i’ and the ‘m,’ and the ‘o’ and the ‘r’ are the same. The beginning may appear to be out of our hands at the moment, but we choose our ending.

Going back to my classroom teaching days, we can use an acronym as an example:

Tension and an
Tension and an
Opportunity to

Vile Injustice Causing Tension can serve as our experience, the backdrop of our choice to
stay a victim or to rise to a victor. And yes, I do say our choice. The way in which our story
ends has little to do with how it begins. It has more to do with whether we settle for an
Injured Mindset, or we take our Opportunity to Rise. We choose this all day everyday in
both large and small ways.

I was telling a friend what a rough week I had last week. It was filled with tension, struggle
and strain. Most of that struggle and strain took place right inside my mind. As I
teeter-tottered between remaining a victim to inconvenient circumstances and rising
to my highest, I asked myself a question.

"How do I want this story to end? What do I choose?”

To read more of this article, click The BGP Gathering Space link

Shaunelle Curry is the founder of The Butterfly Garden Project and The BGP Online, a wombman’s wellness resource dedicated to elevating women to our inherent divinity
and power as co-Creators of a dynamic, harmonious, love-enriched Universe.

Visit The BGP Online later this week for a wonder-filled article entitled,
"Life Coaching: The new way to ignite your full potential," by Caroline Shola Arewa, international speaker and life coach.
You will have an opportunity to sign up for her free 7-day e-course on Creating Ease.

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