Sunday, February 11, 2007

I AM Created With Purpose

One of the things I've begun to do has been to chant during meditation....
No, not just ANY chant... or some man made chant developed to please the ear, and trick the mind... but to chant the Word of God- the living word, the true word.

"I AM Created With Purpose"...

I started doing this during one of my "panic" attacks. It didn’t help when I first started..but now, I am grateful for the peace it brings.

I couldn't figure out why I would get these sudden attacks. Yes, I know I have not completed many of my started projects, yes- I have not met my financial goal, and yes- I do not feel that I'm where I should be- now turning a new age.
However, I didn't think these things were enough to cause my anxiety.
I was wrong.
Upon praying about the situation and asking God’s guidance, God had revealed some powerful truths to me....about myself.

Firstly, my chant had not been effective because I had NOT believed it in my soul.
There is one thing to chant some self-help words just to get by and trick the mind…but it’s a whole other ball park when you are speaking of spiritual- Godly- Christ entwined- things.
It was almost like God said, “Who are you trying to fool?”

Had I gotten SO comfortable with my ideas and MY self that I had lost touch with God. .. Yes. I did. God’s perfect vision had become a skewed, MY vision and I had not continued to seek his counsel and direction.
His purpose moved to what I THOUGHT were MY purposes… and since I had not created myself, how could the chant “I AM Created With Purpose” be effective?
I wasn’t even aligned with the creator anymore.. all my doings were in vain, and I was following my own made up purpose.

Again, I was now on my own mission. I was following my OWN purpose. God had showed me that it would be impossible to prosper –at least, eternally, following MY own path… this is going against the grain of my creation!!! It was HIS purpose I was created for and his alone! I was reminded of God being a jealous God… I had turned away from him and was now on my own path, with my own gods-my false visions.

It was funny to me that we’ve been discussion the resurrection in Sunday school. The irony was that I felt a constant re-birth when I reconciled with God and was back on his track.
Getting back on track wasn’t easy.
It meant I had to put all my plans aside. Seek the face of God, and be willing to hear and accept HIS purpose for my existence. Even if it meant giving up the vision I had- and thought was from him. Even if it means giving up the work I’ve done on my project. The purposeful project I THOUGHT he had placed in my life, even though I had strayed.
I had to be willing to accept his will for me.

Now listening to God and the message he put in me, I don’t feel he has called me to STOP working on those projects- although I do feel that he has called me to 1)recommit myself to him- all of me… and 2) not to move until he tells me the next steps.

It’s time for me to LIVE and KNOW that “I AM Created With Purpose” but first, I must get in my heart and mind, that the purpose is not my own. I belong to a loving God- so not matter what he advises, it will be with meaning and make an impact on the world.


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